So, I was emailing back and forth with my friend Dan this morning, an efficiency expert.. A long-standing debate between us has been whether or not IM increases or decreases one’s work efficiency.
Anyway… of course, as per most conversations that involve me, our discussion digressed.
On Sep 17, 2008, at 9:39 AM, Dennis Yang wrote:
see? this is why IM is better than email.
On Wed, Sep 17, 2008 at 9:45 AM, Dan wrote:
ah yes…. but like a sword, IM has two edges. as long as you’re using the right edge, you’re okay.
On Sep 17, 2008, at 9:47 AM, Dennis Yang wrote:
i dislike that metaphor. who says that there’s a “wrong side” of a double edged sword anyway? i mean, last i checked, a double edged sword affords the wielder *more* cutting power, both in a thrust and a backhanded swashbuckle. i don’t think that having a sharpened opposing edge of a sword really increases the danger to its wielder appreciably. sword wielding skill is still paramount, and if you’re hitting yourself in the head with a single edged sword, it’s really your fault, and not the sword’s.
Scene: Talking to K on the phone, because she doesn’t want to IM me anymore after I blogged our previous conversation.
K: So is she more marina or hipster? Me: I guess more of a hipster.. but I think she was a hippie before. K: So a hippie can become a hipster? Me: Yah.. you just remove the “pie” and add a “ster” K: Oh, okay.
Btw… K, wherever you are, you are my favorite. honest.
K: question K: would don’t sky divers get the Benz while sky diving if the pressure’s changing from the sky to the ground and they’re going really fast? K: do you know? Me: answer. Me: the bends you mean K: yeah
[Snip, snip... I removed the part of the conversation where I explain what "The Bends" are.]
K: so, essentially we’re make up of dry ice? Me: especially if they’ve been scuba diving Me: then the nitrogen in their bodies would start to bubble out Me: but K: isn’t that whas liquid nitrogen is? Me: they have to go really high Me: um.. no, and no. Me: dry ice is carbon dioxide K: oh Me: and liquid nitrogen is.. liquid nitrogen. K: hmm K: isn’t that the stuff they freeze warts off with? Me: maybe? K: oh ok K: I think so Me: i dont know what this has to do with your question K: oh, I just recognized liquidy nitrogen K: then started to think of another question K: hmm K: ok, so air turns to liquid when pressurized K: then it needs time to turn back into air K: on the way up? Me: no K: oh Me: nitrogen, in the air Me: dissolves into your body Me: when pressurized Me: and when you depressurize Me: then if you don’t do it slowly K: oh ok Me: then it the bubbles that form are too big Me: and then they cause problems K: so, you need time to get the nitrogen out? Me: exactly. Me: if you come up more slowly Me: then the gases can get out of your body without causing bad things. K: ok K: like farts? Me:
So, Saturday night, a bunch of us went out to Berkeley for dinner — we hopped on the BART and went to Great China, which is quite possibly my favorite Chinese restaurant in the entire Bay Area. Yah, it’s THAT good. If you do go, I recommend the double skin salad and the crab & egg dish — the peking duck is also awesome, but those two dishes are really quite unique to Great China..
It was a great dinner (afterall, it’s not called *Good* China), but one scene keeps replaying in my head, and I keep laughing to myself about it all morning…
A little back story.. since we were kids, Andy has always had a thing about sharing food. He thinks is super gross or something. It’s not that he’s selfish, I think it’s a germy thing. Like, if you ask for a sip of his Coke, he’ll be like, “Yah.. um, ok..” (takes a huge gulp of coke, and then hands it to you.) “here you go, you can have the rest.” Hehe.. It’s one of those quirks that makes Andy, Andy. Anyway…
So, we’re about midway through the dinner, and there’s a big plate of food that is just about finished.. They come to clear some dishes away to make room… Seeing that there was still some food left on the big plate, someone suggested that they transfer it to a smaller plate.
The server nods, and then looks around for a second, searching for a utensil of some sort. She looks down, and seeing that Andy’s fork was sitting idly on his plate, grabs it.
Andy looks up at the server with like a concerned look, and I can just imagine what is going on in his head:
(Ed: This is what I imagined Andy to be thinking, and by his expression, I really think that he was thinking it… that said, I haven’t really asked Andy if he, in deed, *was* thinking this. I guess I could, but this version of the story has been running through my head all morning, and providing me with a lot of amusement.)
“Hmm.. um.. she’s really using MY fork to push the communal food? Eeeew. That’s gross. Wait.. It’s MY fork, so I guess I don’t have a problem with that, do I?”
I could totally see the internal debate going on inside Andy’s head. He kind of looked over at me, and I tried to give him a knowing nod to let him know that I knew what he was thinking, but who knows if he was actually thinking that or not.
Haha. Ok.. see, just writing up this post, I’m sitting here smiling. So if you’re not finding the amusement in my story, then here’s something that you better find funny… STAR WARS TRUMPET!!!
If you are not laughing now, then yah.. um. I can’t help you..
For the past few weeks, like clockwork, this happens around 5:37pm…
Setting: My House
(The phone rings)
Chinese Speaking Telemarketer: nee how mah? (Translation: How are you?) Me: Who is this? CST: nee hway jiang guo yi mah? (Translation: Do you speak Chinese?) Me: I do, but I would rather not speak Chinese to telemarketers. CST: (Something unintelligible.)
*click*
Woo, Fun. I actually spoke with them the first time, and they were selling me long distance service to China or something. And then it was really fun explaining to them (in Chinese) that I didn’t want their long distance service. So yah, now that they’re calling like almost every day (hooray), I’ve found that speaking English seems to be the best way to deal with them.
So, my friend Doug had a lovely chat with the lovely folks over at uncommongoods.com.. Gotta love those online store chatty things..
=========
Chat Information
Please wait for a site operator to respond.
Chat Information
You are now chatting with ‘Marc’
Marc: Thank you for shopping at UncommonGoods. How may I help you?
you: Chopsticks. I need chopsticks.
you: watchoo got? Marc: I’m sorry, we do have items that include chopsticks, but we do
not have chopsticks by themselves
you: Eenteresting.
you: how about angora sweaters? Marc: We do not have any adult clothing except for some slippers and a t-shirt.
you: Hmmm…
you: How about keyboard software? Marc: We have no software
you: Or a topper for a Christmas tree.
you: You know, like an angel, a star, or sweet baby Jesus.
you: That lights up. Marc: We have this item: Marc: http://www.uncommongoods.com/item/item.jsp?itemId=14107
you: Right idea, but GACK is that thing ugly.
you: You do sell moose measuring spoons, though.
you: in pewter. Marc: Yup, we have those!
you: Ok. Thank you! Marc: You’re welcome. Marc: Is there anything else I may assist you with?
you: Nothing comes to mind, but now that I know you’re here, you’re only a button click away. Marc: I’ll be here!
you: muchas gracias, amigo. Marc: De Nada. Bueno Noches.
Background: So, I decided to work from a coffee shop today, since it was gorgeous out, and I really needed to get out of the house.. I don’t regularly drink coffee.
Me: I’ll have a large mocha please.
Barista: For here or to go?
Me: For here.
Barista: Whipped cream?
Me: Sure!
Barista: 3 shots or 4?
I contemplate this question intently, and wonder if I should just ask for 1 shot, or (gasp) decaf.. but I decide against it
Me: (not very sure of this answer) Um.. I guess.. um.. 3?
About 30 minutes later…
Me: WEEEEEE!
Yah… so, um, note to self.. 3 shots is a lot of caffeine for me.
Setting: My house, 11:07am. Background:Pius is taking a vacation from his 3 year travelling vacation and is staying at my house.
(phone on my desk rings)
Me: Hello?
Dude on the phone: Is Pius there?
(I’m confused since the only people that call my land line are telemarketers and the UPS guy with a package)
Me: Who?
Dotp: Is Pius there?
Me: Ohh.. Pius.. yah, um.. sure.. hold on..
(I cover the phone mouthpiece)
Me (yells): PIUS!!! TELEPHONE!!!!
So yah.. I mean, when was the last time that someone actually called you on your landline to *talk* to someone.. and especially someone other than yourself? I mean when we were kids and stuff, yelling someone’s name for the phone was typical (and today’s kids don’t know that pleasure?)..
Anyway.. as a side note.. I was upstairs, and Pius was down in the living room, so he couldn’t hear me yell.. so I IM’ed him to get the phone. I guess that puts us firmly in the 00s.
me: “Hello?”
telemarketer: “Hi, I would like to speak with Dennis Yang.”
me: “Yup, that’s me.”
telemarketer: “Would you be interested in getting more traffic to your website?”
me: “Um, which website would that be?”
telemarketer: “Um… dennisyang.com?”
me: “Have you been to dennisyang.com?”
telemarketer: “Uh… (typing sounds)… yah.”
me: “And what do you see?”
telemarketer: “You.. got…a puppy?”
me: “Yup.”
telemarketer: “Would you be interested in getting more traffic to your website?”
me: “Um, sure, but I don’t think I’d be interested in paying anything for more traffic.”
telemarketer: “Oh. ok.”
Hmm.. ok, once written up, it doesn’t seem as ridiculous as I thought it was.. but I get telemarketer calls for dennisyang.com every once in awhile, and it just makes me laugh. Hehe.
It’s been an ongoing tradition to plan a trip whenever one of my friend’s turns 30, so this weekend was Korby’s birthday party in Vancouver… We all flew up to Seattle (since it was cheaper) and then drove up to Canada in a rented van. Kim made us all wear matching shirts.
Man, Vancouver is lovely. Clean city, cute girls, and cheap living — what more could you want? We saw a few places for sale in downtown Vancouver for like $250,000 CDN.. I think you can maybe buy a shoebox here in San Francisco for that. Crazy.
At the US-Canada border, Tom Kim chats with the border patrol:
“Hello.”
“Hello.”
“What was your purpose of your visit to Canada?”
“Uhhh… ummm.. Just looking around.”
“Hmm. So, what was your purpose?”
“Ummmm.. yah.. just looking around, you know.”
“Did you purchase anything in Canada?”
“Ummmm.. not really.”
“How do you know all of these people?”
“Ummm.. I don’t know.. I guess.. Ummm.. I used to work with him, I think.. and uhhh… I think they all went to college together”
“Please turn off your engine and open the door.”
Geez.. I mean, honestly… Tom Kim is the most suspicious innocent person I’ve ever met… “Not REALLY“?!?! Just looking around“?!?!? Haha.. man, maybe you “had to be there” but it was damn funny. Well, it was damn funny because we didn’t get cavity searched. That wouldn’t have been funny. Ok, maybe a little.
i send myself sms’s once in awhile (usually from YIM) to remind myself of addresses and phone numbers and stuff… apparently i have a very, very short term memory, since i’ always suprised when i then get the message on my phone..
me: (sends self an SMS) (moments later)
phone: beep!
me: Ooo! I wonder who sent me a message!
so… my phone has been acting very strangely ever since i’ve gotten back from the cruise in miami (maybe it’s seasick).. so i called “611″ to try and get the problem fixed…
so, they have this whole automated voice recognition thing that i’m not sure is actually THAT much better than the old fashioned “push 1″ menus.. or hell.. i just want to talk to a real person…
automated voice: “please describe your problem”
me: “my text messaging doesn’t work”
voice: “ok, are you having a billing issue?”
me: “no”
voice: “ok, main menu, please describe your problem”
me: “technical support.” (after listening to the choices of what i can actually say)
voice: “ok, technical support. are you having a problem with making a call? or something else?”
me: “something else.” (hmm.. it’s texting, so it’s not really making a call, right?)
voice: “ok, something else. are you having a problem with email? or entertainment features?”
me: (ok, i’m confused at this point, so i just say nothing.)
voice: “ok, main menu.”
AAARGH!
So.. I finally get a real live person to talk to, and they have no idea what’s wrong with my phone. At one point, the nice lady asked me “Sir, do you know how to send a text message?”. Grrrr.
Ok, so I’ve just been put on hold by the nice customer service lady and now she’s telling me that I have to go to the Cingular store to try and figure out what’s wrong with my phone. That’s fun.
so the whole family is going on a big trip in a few weeks to taiwan, china and hong kong. i told my brother to go to the clinic at SFO to get a hepatitis A and a typhoid shot…
dennis: http://www.dennisyang.com/archives/000054.html doug: I knew you were going to excerpt that instead of a screen shot. doug: Taking every chance you can get to keep the white man down.
doug: This link could change your life: http://c0rtex.com/~bk/clothes.wmv dennis: am i really ready for life change? doug: I think you’re ready for this one. doug: I’ve tried it, and I’m sold. dennis: WHOA doug: see? see? dennis: WOWOWOWOWOWOW! dennis: so simple dennis: yet.. life changing. doug: It’s unusual, because it’s not a symmetrical fold. But, I don’t anticipate unusual wrinklage when it’s unfolded. doug: I don’t speak a word of Japanese, but I can make out the occasional “T-shur”. dennis: um. it’s CHINESE you white boy. doug: lol.
