dennis yang dot com

Setting: My house, 11:07am.
Background: Pius is taking a vacation from his 3 year travelling vacation and is staying at my house.

(phone on my desk rings)
Me: Hello?
Dude on the phone: Is Pius there?
(I’m confused since the only people that call my land line are telemarketers and the UPS guy with a package)
Me: Who?
Dotp: Is Pius there?
Me: Ohh.. Pius.. yah, um.. sure.. hold on..
(I cover the phone mouthpiece)
Me (yells): PIUS!!! TELEPHONE!!!!

So yah.. I mean, when was the last time that someone actually called you on your landline to *talk* to someone.. and especially someone other than yourself? I mean when we were kids and stuff, yelling someone’s name for the phone was typical (and today’s kids don’t know that pleasure?)..

Anyway.. as a side note.. I was upstairs, and Pius was down in the living room, so he couldn’t hear me yell.. so I IM’ed him to get the phone. I guess that puts us firmly in the 00s.

it’s 8am.. the phone rings…

me: “Hello?”
telemarketer: “Hi, I would like to speak with Dennis Yang.”
me: “Yup, that’s me.”
telemarketer: “Would you be interested in getting more traffic to your website?”
me: “Um, which website would that be?”
telemarketer: “Um… dennisyang.com?”
me: “Have you been to dennisyang.com?”
telemarketer: “Uh… (typing sounds)… yah.”
me: “And what do you see?”
telemarketer: “You.. got…a puppy?”
me: “Yup.”
telemarketer: “Would you be interested in getting more traffic to your website?”
me: “Um, sure, but I don’t think I’d be interested in paying anything for more traffic.”
telemarketer: “Oh. ok.”

Hmm.. ok, once written up, it doesn’t seem as ridiculous as I thought it was.. but I get telemarketer calls for dennisyang.com every once in awhile, and it just makes me laugh. Hehe.

It’s been an ongoing tradition to plan a trip whenever one of my friend’s turns 30, so this weekend was Korby’s birthday party in Vancouver… We all flew up to Seattle (since it was cheaper) and then drove up to Canada in a rented van. Kim made us all wear matching shirts.

Man, Vancouver is lovely. Clean city, cute girls, and cheap living — what more could you want? We saw a few places for sale in downtown Vancouver for like $250,000 CDN.. I think you can maybe buy a shoebox here in San Francisco for that. Crazy.

At the US-Canada border, Tom Kim chats with the border patrol:

“Hello.”
“Hello.”

“What was your purpose of your visit to Canada?”
“Uhhh… ummm.. Just looking around.”

“Hmm. So, what was your purpose?”
“Ummmm.. yah.. just looking around, you know.”

“Did you purchase anything in Canada?”
“Ummmm.. not really.”

“How do you know all of these people?”
“Ummm.. I don’t know.. I guess.. Ummm.. I used to work with him, I think.. and uhhh… I think they all went to college together”

“Please turn off your engine and open the door.”

Geez.. I mean, honestly… Tom Kim is the most suspicious innocent person I’ve ever met… “Not REALLY“?!?! Just looking around“?!?!? Haha.. man, maybe you “had to be there” but it was damn funny. Well, it was damn funny because we didn’t get cavity searched. That wouldn’t have been funny. Ok, maybe a little.

Anyway.. happy birthday Korby!

i send myself sms’s once in awhile (usually from YIM) to remind myself of addresses and phone numbers and stuff… apparently i have a very, very short term memory, since i’ always suprised when i then get the message on my phone..

me: (sends self an SMS)
(moments later)
phone: beep!
me: Ooo! I wonder who sent me a message!

I feel like that guy from memento.

so… my phone has been acting very strangely ever since i’ve gotten back from the cruise in miami (maybe it’s seasick).. so i called “611″ to try and get the problem fixed…

so, they have this whole automated voice recognition thing that i’m not sure is actually THAT much better than the old fashioned “push 1″ menus.. or hell.. i just want to talk to a real person…

automated voice: “please describe your problem”
me: “my text messaging doesn’t work”
voice: “ok, are you having a billing issue?”
me: “no”
voice: “ok, main menu, please describe your problem”
me: “technical support.” (after listening to the choices of what i can actually say)
voice: “ok, technical support. are you having a problem with making a call? or something else?”
me: “something else.” (hmm.. it’s texting, so it’s not really making a call, right?)
voice: “ok, something else. are you having a problem with email? or entertainment features?”
me: (ok, i’m confused at this point, so i just say nothing.)
voice: “ok, main menu.”

AAARGH!

So.. I finally get a real live person to talk to, and they have no idea what’s wrong with my phone. At one point, the nice lady asked me “Sir, do you know how to send a text message?”. Grrrr.

Ok, so I’ve just been put on hold by the nice customer service lady and now she’s telling me that I have to go to the Cingular store to try and figure out what’s wrong with my phone. That’s fun.

so the whole family is going on a big trip in a few weeks to taiwan, china and hong kong. i told my brother to go to the clinic at SFO to get a hepatitis A and a typhoid shot…

click to read the whole conversation…

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ok.. so maybe my brain is a little burnt today, but i found out that it’s possible to have a YIM conversation with yourself. neat. i think.

BEE Happy!

dennis: http://www.dennisyang.com/archives/000054.html
doug: I knew you were going to excerpt that instead of a screen shot.
doug: Taking every chance you can get to keep the white man down.

doug: This link could change your life: http://c0rtex.com/~bk/clothes.wmv
dennis: am i really ready for life change?
doug: I think you’re ready for this one.
doug: I’ve tried it, and I’m sold.
dennis: WHOA
doug: see? see?
dennis: WOWOWOWOWOWOW!
dennis: so simple
dennis: yet.. life changing.
doug: It’s unusual, because it’s not a symmetrical fold. But, I don’t anticipate unusual wrinklage when it’s unfolded.
doug: I don’t speak a word of Japanese, but I can make out the occasional “T-shur”.
dennis: um. it’s CHINESE you white boy.
doug: lol.